Big, Big Folds

A four bet means Aces and Kings, not to mention a six bet. Learn to fold donkeys.

Here is my analysis of a hand on Goodnight moon. AJ vs KJ on a JJK board. Small 4-bet raises then the money all goes in. People not as smart as I am say this is a cooler.

Toph's 1.1 million raise says decent hand not sure where he stands. Anton's re-raise to 2 million made alarms go off in my head. Obviously you can not fold AJ there yet but my hair has dander. Toph responds correctly as I would (even though I have never been that deep in the WSOP) and re-raises. Anton see's this raise a extreme strength and pushes in. Obviously Toph is beaten here and should fold his cards face up.

Obviously this is a huge, huge fold, but now I will contradict myself and say he should never have raised in the first place which totally contradicts my prior statement that this is the right move and I would have done exactly that but ignore that please.

It took me years to figure out that I am awesome and would laydown my hand in that spot no matter what the mathematical probability says. I knew instantly AJ was behind in this spot and if Toph was half the player I was he would have folded.

SIRI

I am drunk.

Poker Media Still Sitting Quietly While Full Tilt Embarrasses Us All

What a bunch of masochists we all are (well not me, but I say we as a literary device, you're really the stupid masochistic bitches). Why does the poker media not question why Phil Ivy the best poker player ever owes Full Tilt 4 million bucks? Obviously they stole our money and used it as their own.

Phil Ivy wins millions regularly so why does he need a loan from Full Tilt? He obviously does not. Full Tilt just used our money for bad loans.

Do you think Humberto Brenes ever owed pokerstars millions of dollars? What about Daniel Negreanu? How about UB, those scoundrels...d'ya think Phil Hellmuth owes UB $7 million or something? You think they lent Annie Duke a couple hundy large to complete an addition on to her house? Me thinks not.

Why am I the only genius to question this loan? I don't loan professional gamblers money to throw away on Roshambo, 18 foot puts, or prop bets.

Or Do I? (Dah Dah Dah Dramatic Music)

I, the Hero of the people, sat on this story for weeks awaiting the poker media to pick it up but I can not sit back any longer! The poker media are a bunch of silly school children. I, the only adult, will tell you how it is.

Did anyone see this story in the poker media where Howard offered to pay Brunson what Brunson had locked up on Full Tilt at the time of the U.S. online poker ban? I read this in the poker media but nobody in the poker media has written about this story!

"Look who I just ran into.. I told him the wsop killed me and I was cash short...... http://lockerz.com/s/121600156"
ToddBrunson

"He asked how much I had on tilt and I told him 150k.. He said come with me. We went to his car and he opened his trunk and paid me!!!!!!"

I figured this would be covered in the poker media where I read it but instead the poker media is blowing Full Tilt pro's and not writing about it.

I hope Lederer get's carjacked. What the hell is he doing running around with 150k in his trunk. Poker pro's are getting paid out by Full Tilt with our money but we are getting nothing.

You would think someone like Pokerati would report this on July 19th, or Bill Rini on July 26th, or some poker media person but nobody at all has even mentioned this. I mean what are they afraid of getting sued for slander! It was in a tweet on the internet! Of Course it is true!

Can you imagine if a site like 2+2 had anything on this story on July 19th 2011? It would be fucking amazing if any entity did the heavy duty, hard nosed, reporting that I bring you.

Seriously guys, it's getting pretty close to where we deserve what we get here. (again not me, but I say we as a literary device, you're really the stupid fucks getting what they deserve).

Thursday Tea Party

Do not drink the tea.

Wednesday Reality

I was right. You all are stupid.

The Downgrade, and the Fed

Do not listen to the dumb people. The rally is fake and will not hold.

The Downgrade, and the Fed

This bullshit is getting to boring for me! WHAT THE FUCK HOYAZO! Have you become the goddamn New York Times. Go fuck yourself. The fucking stock market sucks. We get it. Shut the fuck up and use too many words for something halfway interesting for a change you goddamn retard.

Monday Market Mania

Stock Market was fun Monday.

S&P did their fucking job finally and downgraded America.

it is hilarious to hear the president and congress say the S&P does not know what they are talking about. Congress and the president told everyone we were a day or two away from defaulting on our debt.

Obama is stupid. What the hell is Moody's and Fitch thinking?

AIG is suing **BankAmerica for bad loans. BankAmerica is a bunch of shithole but how can AIG, who invented being shitholes, possibly sue BankAmerica. AIG is a big poncy scheme. How can they sue the bank when it's their job to asses risk.

What pisses me off the most is we own AIG. Why would we allow this lawsuit to happen?

Listen to Hoy if you want to get re-elected Obama. Get on the TV right now. Tell AIG to stop this ridiculous lawsuit or we are shutting them down. Let's hope that AIG calls the presidents bluff. We can then fire all these people who only have job because we have had two pussy presidents in a row.

I would gladly lose the $180 billion I spent on AIG if we could fire all those 63,000 assholes tomorrow.

** DISCLAIMER: I do not have a ton of shares in BankAmerica, nor have I sucked any BankAmerica employees dicks... recently.

Stock Market Redux

I am a ballah and own a Sirius Satellite Radio. It has been a while since I listened to Financial news on the ride to work. New York is interested in how the stock market does.

Smart people like me knew the stock market was sick and would drop 500 points. Growth sucks. Let me impress you with other peoples numbers.

I am so smart this could be a Financial Blog or a Political blog. However I just want to write about poker. Obama is a sucky leader. All he does is implement fail policies and print funny money.

I am not here to bash Obama. I am here to tell you how genius I am. People are finally listening to what I have been saying for years. Politicians suck.

The world is going to be forced to spend less and raise taxes. Unemployment will stay at 17% because there are too many workers.

Like it or not things have changed. Obama just printed more money which weakened the dollar. We will be paying $4 for a gallon of gas and $12 for a movie. I have analyzed everything and we are in for the next great depression.

hmmm.

What a Difference Success Makes

Airport security sucks. I am a bandwagon Phillies fan. When they sucked I was embarrassed to wear the cap but now that they are good I stride about like a peacock. Colorado Rockies and Padres are beneath contempt.

Kids are a PITA. Burly TSA guard hates the Phillies. The Phillie's have gone from lifelong sad sacks to the envy of the entire world.

In Florida I wore my ratty old hat. It is a hundred degrees and my Adonis body is sweating in the heat as I carry 22 bags by myself. Skycap guy persecutes me for being a Phillies fan. Least the Marlins suck. I personally helped my team win five NL East championships.

My sister requested salad dressing and the heathen National's fan cook forgot it. He tried to match wits with me but I am unbeatable.

Three people mouthed off at me in under a month (I assume this is sports related only and not the normal trash Talking Hoy must get). The Phillies are the best team ever!

(title unknown)

A quarter is 3 months. ***

*** Apparently Hoyazo created this genius post then deleted it. So I assume that soon we will have another post about quarters and months and possibly dimes and nickles, who the fuck knows with that guy.

Main Event Busto

Twenty two players left none of them interest a connoisseur of poker like myself.

My blogging buddy Andrew Brokos busted then Erick Lindgren one of the only remaining names the common man like yourselves would know was out.

Erika Moutinho and David Sands still interested me because they were shacking up. If you knew math as good as me you would understand how unbelievable this is. Shame on Jack Eiffel for allowing these two to collude by sharing cards with each other.

Once they busted I had no interest. You poor people might get off on watching some unknown morons win 8 million bucks but it does not excite me. Do not even get me started on what a horrible idea the November Nine is.

Thus ends the first WSOP I have missed since 2006, if you had my bucks you could play the WSOP too. I did not miss it at all. I played at Foxwoods in one of their big tourneys. In 2012 there will be less people because all these internet wannabe's will be brokeback. I shall make my triumphant return to the WSOP then.

The Main Event

Main event is great internet lurking event. March Madness is better TV event.

First one I followed was Raymer's run. Namedrop the blogfather. I am connected. Lurked the internet to see Helmouth Explode, Moon bluff, Ivy play. I care about the game which is why I play on Ultimate Bet.

Robert Varkonyi and I are buddies. He is still in it. Doyle Brunson sucks. Todd is doing good. E-Dog Erick Lindgren doing good. See how hip I am. Watching Carlos Mortensen, Patrik Antonius, Darvin Moon. Thomas Fuller and Terrance Chan my blog friends are doing very well also. I am connected. Fanboy says Yay Moon!

Shaun Deeb 300k, Peter Feldman doing well. Us on the inside know him as Nordberg from the old days in the hood. Miami John, Andrew Brokos, Tom McEvoy. Eli Elezra. See how much I know about poker?

The main event is good.

Now That is a Horribad Call

Josh Ariah Sucks. He should not even be called a pro. Calling off a huge raise like that is a fish move. He was tilted from losing the other day. I would never do anything like that because I am smart.

It seems like the WSOP will have 5000 people.

Is it me?

Full Tilt Red Pros suck. Ivey who did not even show up does not have a bracelet this year. Juanda only has one bracelet. What a poser. The pro's are too busy kissing their asses goodbye. If you liked this post you will love my one on how Bums on the street are genetically inferior to normal people because they get sick all the time.

Synopsis of Hoyazo

Redux! The Synopsis of Hoy shall save your eyeballs from bleeding. Stay tuned for future updates.

A new author added

Synopsis of Hoy will go in a whole new direction.

Waffles has been added as author!

A piece of my soul may have just died.